Tenchi Booyo!
by Mike Fenton
Summary: Chicken Boo plays some silly head games with the girls. He is way dumber than advertised!



    Author: Mike Fenton
    Title: TENCHI BOOYO!
    Notes: Cross-over (OVA), script format
    Summary: Chicken Boo plays some silly head games with
    the girls. He is way dumber than advertised!
    [Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo! and its characters are the
    property of AIC and Pioneer LDC, Inc. and was created by
    Masaki Kajishima. Chicken Boo is trademarked and
    copyrighted by Warner Bros. This story comes entirely
    from my imagination, and is strictly intended to be
    apocryphal--so please don't sue me.]
    1 EXT. HEN HOUSE
    A few chickens peck the ground, as bg. music starts up.
    2 INT. HEN HOUSE
    A giant chicken--Boo--goes up to a nice rectangular
    floor mirror.
    BG. MUSIC
    "Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you?
    You don't act like the other chickens do--
    You wear a disguise to look like human guys,
    But you're not a man! You're a chicken, Boo!"
    CU. BOO (looking in mirror)
    He puts on several different disguises, tilting his
    head suggestively, considering.
    FADE OUT
    3 TITLE: "TENCHI BOOYO!"
    4 EXT. FLOATING ONSEN
    5 INT. POOL
    Ayeka and Ryoko are relaxing in the pools, as Sasami
    sits at the edge, kicking up some water with her feet.
    AYEKA: There's something different about Lord
    Tenchi, today. I cannot quite put my finger on it, but he
    seems so much more manly today. I shudder to admit this,
    but my heart is pounding in my chest, just thinking about
    him. Oh, I think I shall just die! He's so perfect for me!
    RYOKO: (amused) Forget it, Princess! My Tenchi
    is too much man for you! I bet you'd faint just at the
    thought of one hot, steamy night with him. You know you
    can't compare with me. I'm the bad girl, and guys always
    fall for the bad girl. You wait. This morning, he wasn't
    embarrassed at all around me. Tenchi and I were meant to be
    together!
    Mihoshi suddenly appears, holding a bottle of sake.
    MIHOSHI: Oh, you all are so silly! (wistfully)
    Tenchi is my destiny. And I think today is the day we are
    going to get married! Oh! When he looked at me this
    morning, I could just see so much love and kindness in his
    eyes! You two may think you can win his heart, but I'm so
    sweet and innocent, he'll just fall into my arms! Tenchi is
    such a romantic!
    Mihoshi sits at the edge of the pool, weeping with joy.
    CU. SASAMI
    SASAMI: (matter-of-factly) Actually, he's a
    giant chicken.
    POOL
    A general gasp splits the air.
    CU. RYOKO
    RYOKO: (outrage) What did you say?
    CU. AYEKA
    AYEKA: (annoyed) Now, Sasami. Just because you
    are young, doesn't mean you can just say anything you wish.
    If you insist on making fun, at least do so in a wholesome
    way. You are a princess, too, you know.
    POOL
    Ryoko is glowering at Sasami, as Mihoshi looks up at
    Sasami in shock. Ayeka frowns, thoughtfully.
    MIHOSHI: Oh, Sasami! How can you say such a mean
    thing? I thought we were friends!
    RYOKO: You little brat! You're just jealous!
    You stay out of this!
    AYEKA: Ryoko, you shouldn't be so vindictive.
    This attitude of hers is all your fault.
    RYOKO: (turning to Ayeka) Huh? Oh, not that
    stupid argument again!
    AYEKA: You are a bad influence on the young one,
    Ryoko. She takes this casually perverse air from you.
    RYOKO: You're the one who always starts it,
    Princess. You're so obnoxious, anyone would gladly scorn
    you.
    AYEKA: (defensive) I'm not the monster, you are!
    CU. SASAMI
    SASAMI: (pleading) But he is a giant chicken, I
    tell you! A giant chicken!
    CU. RYOKO
    She trembles in anger.
    CU. AYEKA
    AYEKA: (upset) Sasami, you leave here this
    instant! We are going to have to discuss this, but I will
    make sure you are severely punished, first! This is the
    last time I put up with your insolence!
    POOL
    Sasami seems about to object, as Ryoko flies out of the
    pool and drags Sasami over to the door.
    CU. MIHOSHI
    MIHOSHI: (mournfully) I can't believe Sasami.
    How could she be so rude!
    CU. AYEKA
    AYEKA: Well, Mihoshi, it only shows you how
    familiarity can sometimes breed envy...
    CU. SASAMI
    SASAMI: But Ryoko, if you would just listen to me
    for a moment--
    CU. RYOKO
    She opens the entrance door and kicks Sasami out.
    RYOKO: Good riddance, you little brat!
    POOL
    Ryoko turns and casually wipes her hands.
    AYEKA: Anyway, you are all deluding yourselves.
    I'm so much more worthy than either of you. You can only
    win his heart, but I can give him the throne of a galactic
    empire!
    RYOKO: (snorting) You mean, if Azusa has a fit
    and keels over dead, of course.
    AYEKA: (gasping) How dare you talk about the
    emperor that way! My father will respect me! Tenchi can
    prove himself, and everyone knows it!
    MIHOSHI: (pondering) But, I thought he only won
    that duel because of me...
    Ryoko and Ayeka glower at Mihoshi for a moment.
    RYOKO: (amused again) Anyway, Princess, isn't it
    against Jurai royal code for you to contemplate the death of
    an emperor? This is grounds for a beheading, is it not?
    CU. AYEKA
    AYEKA: (stunned) I was not thinking any such
    thing! You were! I was only suggesting the logical line of
    succession!
    CU. MIHOSHI
    MIHOSHI: But, isn't that against the Seto Treaty?
    You could start a war, just implying a thing like that.
    POOL
    Ayeka hides her face in disgust, as Ryoko laughs.
    RYOKO: Yeah, Princess. You're nothing but
    trouble for poor Tenchi. I, on the other hand, can make all
    his wildest fantasies come true. I'm not tied down to any
    old stupid code. I follow my own rules! Tenchi can rule
    the universe with me at his side!
    AYEKA: If you don't get caught, you mean. You're
    nothing but a pirate! If Tenchi ends up with you, it'll
    probably be in a cage, somewhere--miserable and publicly
    humiliated!
    RYOKO: With you, Princess, every day would be a
    public humiliation! Those Juraians don't exactly warm up to
    Earthlings, you know!
    AYEKA: They will just have to learn! It is
    already our formal decree!
    CU. MIHOSHI
    MIHOSHI: Oh, just come off it! Tenchi doesn't
    want any of that! He just wants a plain, simple life! I'm
    a very plain and simple kind of person, you know.
    CU. RYOKO
    RYOKO: 'Simpleton,' you mean.
    CU. AYEKA
    AYEKA: Plain, you may be, Mihoshi, but you are
    anything but simple. You hurl yourself from one difficulty
    to the next. Tenchi would never have a moment of peace with
    you.
    CU. MIHOSHI
    MIHOSHI: That's silly, Ayeka! I don't care about
    any of that! In my heart, I'm very innocent and gentle. I
    would never have another moment of trouble with Tenchi.
    POOL
    RYOKO: Naive little girl! You don't know the
    first thing about avoiding trouble! I've been avoiding
    trouble all my life. I can make Tenchi happier than any of
    you!
    AYEKA: How happy would Tenchi be, getting chased
    around by police all the time? Really, Ryoko. You are the
    one who is naive! You think people would just forget all
    the crimes you've committed?
    RYOKO: But none of that was my fault! It was all
    Kagato, I tell you!
    AYEKA: Yeah. Just try explaining that to all the
    people who lost their families. They don't care who ordered
    it. They just want to see you suffer--and they might hurt
    Lord Tenchi to get to you, if he were ever foolish enough to
    be seen your company!
    MIHOSHI: Yeah. Tenchi would be much safer with
    me! At headquarters, I could have my grandfather arrange
    for him to have constant protection--maybe even a new
    identity.
    Ryoko and Ayeka glare at Mihoshi, ominously.
    CU. ENTRANCE
    The door slides open for Boo, wearing a wig and a
    kimono. He enters.
    CU. RYOKO
    Floats up in front of Boo, fingering his chest.
    RYOKO: Tenchi! How are you, my darling?
    CU. AYEKA
    Goes to stand next to Boo.
    AYEKA: Lord Tenchi! How handsome you are, today!
    My heart is bursting with joy to see you!
    CU. MIHOSHI
    Nervously sidling up to Boo.
    MIHOSHI: Tenchi! How do you feel? Don't just
    stand there, say something.
    CU. BOO
    Cocking his head around, somewhat smugly--but very
    bird-like.
    BOO: Ba-kaw! Bak-bak-ba-kaw?
    POOL
    RYOKO: Don't be embarrassed, Tenchi. You never
    say anything I'm ashamed of, you know.
    AYEKA: Fate has brought us together, Lord Tenchi.
    There is no need for you to apologize.
    MIHOSHI: It's so sweet that you are so modest,
    Tenchi. You know I'd do anything for you, though!
    CU. BOO
    Looks around at the entrance, then back at the girls.
    BOO: Bak-bak-bak. Bak-ba-kaw!
    POOL
    The three look a little stunned.
    RYOKO: (shocked) What?
    AYEKA: (forlorn) Another? Who? I don't
    understand!
    MIHOSHI: (starting to cry) You're not leaving
    me, are you? Oh, Tenchi! How could you?
    BOO: Bak-bak. Bak-bak-bak.
    Washu appears in the door.
    WASHU: (smug) That's right! Surprised?
    CU. RYOKO
    RYOKO: But, Mom! You know how I feel about
    Tenchi! How could you do this to me?
    CU. WASHU
    WASHU: Well, it's very simple, actually. Tenchi
    and I were just discussing it. Tell her, Tenchi.
    CU. BOO
    Looks down for a moment, then at Ryoko.
    BOO: Bak-bak-bak-ba-kaw. Bak-bak-bak-bak?
    CU. RYOKO
    Her eyes widen, and she begins to weep.
    CU. AYEKA
    She gasps and looks at Ryoko, curiously.
    AYEKA: You actually said that? Why in the world
    did you do that?
    CU. MIHOSHI
    She frowns for a moment, then gapes in understanding.
    MIHOSHI: Oh! So, when you said you wished Achika
    was your mother too, Tenchi took it to mean that you wished
    you were his sister...
    CU. RYOKO
    Scowling as she continues to weep.
    RYOKO: It's not true! I never meant anything
    like that! Oh Tenchi, what I feel is so much deeper than
    that! You must believe me!
    CU. WASHU
    A little stern, as she considers Ryoko.
    WASHU: Now, now, Ryoko. It's no use, trying to
    deny it. You may have meant it as a slight to me, but it
    revealed something I think is essentially true. I mean,
    face it. You don't really know anything about love.
    POOL
    Washu consoles Ryoko, as Ayeka looks thoughtful.
    AYEKA: But, Tenchi. This is all so sudden and
    thoughtless. How could you neglect me? I am your true and
    perfect mate, and you know it.
    BOO: Bak-bak.
    AYEKA: (shocked) What?
    BOO: Ba-kaw! Bak-bak-bak-bak-bak-ba-kaw!
    Bak-bak-bak-bak-bak. Bak-bak-bak?
    CU. AYEKA
    She trembles with grief and anger.
    AYEKA: No! That is a lie! I love you, Tenchi--
    not Yosho!
    CU. WASHU
    WASHU: (gently) Really? Are you sure?
    CU. RYOKO
    Collects herself and looks up at Ayeka.
    RYOKO: Yeah. Now that I think about it, it makes
    sense. You only latched onto Tenchi out of grief for Yosho.
    You tried to take Tenchi on the rebound, but you're really
    still in love with Yosho!
    CU. AYEKA
    Putting her face in her hands, and starting to weep.
    AYEKA: No! It's nothing but lies! No!
    POOL
    Ryoko looks smugly at Ayeka--who is weeping,
    wrenchingly. Mihoshi looks around, confused.
    MIHOSHI: Tenchi--don't you know how I feel? I
    only came here for you.
    CU. BOO
    He looks down for a moment, then up at Mihoshi.
    BOO: Bak-bak. Bak-bak-bak-bak.
    CU. MIHOSHI
    She smiles, as tears fall down her cheeks.
    MIHOSHI: Oh! That's so sweet! I understand,
    Tenchi! But, you're breaking my heart, you know?
    CU. WASHU
    WASHU: You'll get over it, kid. I should know--
    well, maybe not. Eh, who cares? (she turns to Boo) Are
    you ready? Let's get out of here before the real fireworks
    start.
    CU. RYOKO
    Glaring at Washu, venomously.
    RYOKO: What makes you think you can just walk out
    of here, Washu?
    POOL
    Washu has suddenly grown as tall as Ryoko. She goes
    and looks Ryoko in the eyes.
    WASHU: And who's going to stop me? You?
    BOO: Bak-bak-ba-kaw!
    WASHU: Just stay out of this, Tenchi. Sometimes,
    a mother has to do what a mother has to do.
    RYOKO: How are you going to get out of here?
    WASHU: I'll just take Ryo-Ohki. It's not like
    you own her. Anyway, if I left her here you would just
    track us down. I kill two birds with one stone, that way.
    CU. RYOKO
    RYOKO: You bitch! We'll just see who gets killed
    today!
    CU. ENTRANCE
    Tenchi apppears in the doorway, looking in curiously.
    TENCHI: Hey! What's all the commotion in here?
    What's this giant chicken doing in that get-up?
    POOL
    Boo looks very embarrassed, as the others look around
    in confusion. Washu reverts back to child-form.
    WASHU: Chicken? I don't see any giant chicken.
    AYEKA: Oh my god, Tenchi! But, now there are two
    of you! Which one is which?
    RYOKO: Hey! There's something funny going on
    here!
    Mihoshi is completely stunned.
    TENCHI: (very disconcerted) Have you all gone
    nuts? Look!
    He grabs the wig and the kimono from Boo. Boo is quite
    obviously a giant chicken. A general gasp splits the air
    again.
    WASHU: He is a giant chicken! (groaning) I
    can't believe I actually kissed him!
    Sasami suddenly appears in the door, next to Tenchi.
    SASAMI: I told you that guy was a chicken. Come
    on, Tenchi. I think the others will want to be alone with
    him for a while.
    Tenchi leaves with Sasami, and the others turn and look
    at Boo, very venomously.
    CU. BOO
    His wings start trembling in fear.
    BOO: Bak-bak?
    IRIS OUT ALREADY, PLEASE!
    THE END
    ***
    NOTES: Frank Welker is the VA for Chicken Boo in the
    Animaniacs. He also does Ralph the Guard, The CEO, The
    Announcer, Flavio, Buttons, Runt... He is also Abu from
    Disney's Aladdin, and I understand he does a lot of weird
    animal noises for other cartoons.
    


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